It’s official.  Usher, a Grammy-winning R&B singer, has filed for divorce less than two years after walking down the aisle.  His wife, however, was more than surprised that divorce was even being considered.  She’s provided an exact date as to their last intimacy and says she believed her marriage was intact.  Tameka Raymond’s lawyer, Randall M. Kessler, has only released one brief statement, “All I can tell you is that my

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client loves her husband and she loves her children.  She’s trying to keep this as private as possible.”  Usher’s lawyers haven’t released any statements, but the divorce papers filed in Atlanta, GA are speaking volumes. 

The reasons for the splitting of the sheets are listed as a hopeless reconciliation and that the marriage is irretrievably broken.  Not only that, but Usher is also seeking at least joint custody of his two sons, one who is less than two years old and another who is six months old.  In the meantime, his wife Tameka has asked the court to ensure her husband continues his financial support until the divorce and custody issues have been decided.  She’s also requested her husband pay her legal fees.

It’s not said where Usher is residing, though it’s most likely outside Atlanta and probably not even in Georgia.  The two were married in August, 2007.  It was his first marriage and her second marriage.  She also has three children from that first marriage.  He says they’ve been separated since July 2008, which, if true, means they separated before they even celebrated their first wedding anniversary.

Tameka Raymond is said to still be recuperating after being hospitalized for severe complications due to liposuction she received in Brazil.  It’s only when the rumors began circulating last week over the imminent filing that she hired Kessler.  The one striking difference in this celebrity divorce and others that have hit the headlines is there doesn’t appear to be any mudslinging….yet.  Hopefully, for the sake of the little ones, these two will remember they’re the adults and that the art of biting one’s tongue will go a long way in the psyches of their kids.

The first court date is set for July 15 in Fulton County Superior Court in Atlanta.

Once again, Terry and Linda Bollea, aka Mr. and Mrs. Hulk Hogan, are throwing some major verbal attacks at

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one another.  Accusations flew in the most recent court hearings this week of Linda Bollea spending the vast majority of her $40,000 monthly temporary alimony payments on drugs.  In fact, two witnesses showed up and testified they’ve witnessed her snorting cocaine and taking a painkiller known as Roxycodon.  She also heard them testify to her expensive marijuana habit as well. 

A judge has been doling out the cash as needed to both parties.  That has to sting.  To have to ask for permission to spend one’s own money must be a difficult process for Terry Bollea.  He’s said to be worth over $10 million, but he said in court that unless his family reeled in its spending habits, he’d be broke within a year.  The fact he’s been ordered to pay the $40k monthly payment on top of all of her expenses, including credit cards, trainers, housekeepers and car payments and maintenance surely is taking a toll.  To add insult to injury, she’s now claiming she’s living below the standard of living she’d grown accustomed to as Mrs. Hulk Hogan.  She’s petitioned the court for an increase in her monthly allowance, all the while, her husband’s legal team is arguing for the judge to reduce the payments. 

Since his son, Nick, was a minor in 2007 when he was arrested for causing a serious brain injury to his once-friend during a car crash, the Bolleas’ have shouldered all of his legal fees.  Many believe this is what marked the beginning of the end of their 23 year marriage. 

The judge also heard Bollea’s argument today that he’s unable to provide for his family since his wrestling career is all but over.  A recent back surgery only adds to the long list of health problems and injuries many wrestlers suffer with.  His hopes of playing an active role in the upcoming Wrestlemania seem to be fading. 

In the meantime, the accusations are still flying, the name calling is still being traded and the divorce attorneys are working overtime to keep their respective clients quiet and not so much in the limelight.  What can they do, though?  Two entitled people who’ve lived charmed lives all these years won’t buckle easily and aren’t apt to take orders from anyone, whether it’s a judge or their own attorney.

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 Admittedly, I have very little knowledge of who Jon and Kate are, let alone this magical ‘8′ that follows the title of their TLC reality show, Jon and Kate Plus 8.  Listening to screaming little ones just doesn’t fall into my preferred TV viewing choices, especially if there’s a Law & Order to be found among the available shows.  But it’s hard to ignore the headlines and the news of nearly 10 million viewers who caught last night’s season premiere.  My first question was, “So if everyone’s watching Jon and Kate, who’s paying attention to the North Korean nuke crisis?”

After I delved into the seemingly thousands of websites dedicated to the drama that is now this young couple’s life, I realized there exists the very real possibility of a divorce and custody battle playing out in the media.  Then I realized that magic number ‘8′ is in reference to the number of children this couple share.  Accusations of adultery seems to be what most are interested in and maybe it’s because I’ve come in late on this, I have no idea who’s fooling around on whom, who’s the nagging spouse or for that matter, who’s taking care of these kids while all of this supposed adultery is taking place.  The Learning Channel staff, maybe?

It’s more than surprising when one starts searching for reports from anyone associated with this couple regarding the well-being of these kids should a divorce come to pass.  Clearly, they’re happy kids and despite the constant media up their little noses, they seem to be well-adjusted.  Mom and Dad love these kids, no doubt.  But there are a lot of unanswered questions.   Why would this couple agree to yet another season of this insanity, knowing cameras, both from The Learning Channel as it films their lives as well as the paparazzi, are filming every “evil eye” that’s passed between them and every sigh each time one spouse needles the other?  Aren’t these things better resolved behind closed doors, the way marriages used to work?  Surely by now the money this couple has earned by allowing this all access has been earmarked for lawyers and counselors, especially if they do choose to divorce.  We’ll never know if their lives would’ve been more peaceful had they not chosen to participate in this show, but hopefully, for the welfare of those kids and for their own sanity, they’ll not agree to another season.

If the adultery accusations are true, you can be sure these trysts are more than documented somewhere and depending on which state they reside in (seriously, I never watch this show), one or the other stands to shell out major money each month on child support and possibly alimony payments.

Seems the only thing these two people agree on is how frustrated their lives have become since allowing cameras anywhere near them.  Hopefully, they can find some middle ground before they destroy their marriage and find themselves co-parenting their children from two separate addresses.

. Gary Condit

Our federal government now has time on its hands to go into the romance business.  Feeling reassured?  You’re not alone - most aren’t.  Politicians and fidelity go hand in hand about like Oprah Winfrey and the Texas cattle ranchers.  Consider those who’ve not put their marriages first, got busted and then had the whole sordid story unfold in the public eye:

Bill Clinton - Nine words: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman!”

Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer - His call girl scandal caused him to resign as governor. 

Former New Jersey Governor James E. McGreevey - Before being outed as a homosexual, he admitted to being “as avid a womanizer as anybody else on the New Jersey political scene”. 

Gary Condit - He was briefly a person of interest in the abduction of Chandra Levy in 2001 because of a romance between the two that he initially denied.  This ultimately ruined his career although he was never charged.  An imminent arrest, thanks to a DNA match, of a former gang member was announced in February 2009.

John Edwards - An admitted affair with a former campaign worker ended Mr. GQ’s political career.  As his wife struggles with cancer, he was working double-time to keep his affair secret and out of the media.  What’s even more bizarre is how this magically dropped out of the media spotlight just as it was heating up.

Former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer

These are just a few of the most recent scandals that come to mind.  Granted, I doubt the creation of the government’s website for Romance and Marriage 101 will have any of these fellows as guest commentators, but it’s almost laughable that those responsible for this new brainchild are actually managing to keep a straight face as the announcement is made of the five million dollars that will be used to bring this site live.  We can’t forget, either, the hundreds of other scandals our elected head honchoes find themselves in - including bribery, theft, DUIs, writing worthless checks - the list is endless.  And yes, they’re human…but they’re held far more accountable since they’re the ones breaking the very laws they’ve written.

Granted, there are major costs associated with divorce and single parents.  And most people agree with the sanctity of marriage, both morally and legally.  It just feels like a kick in the teeth to most us who’ve watched so many scandals, courtesy of politicians and lawmakers from every state, play out on the evening news day after day…after day.

There is another storm brewing too.  The gay community says it’s their tax dollars that will be contributing to this new program, yet they’re not given the option of marriage in this country. 

Public opinion is less than optimistic, to say the least.  The site, if you’re interested, is www.TwoOfUs.org

We all anticipated many problems and even personal devastation due to the downward spiral of the economy. Throw some greed into the mix, and you come up with the likes of Bernard Madoff and now Marcus Schrenker, who attempted to fake his suicide and then tried unsuccessfully to follow through with what might’ve been a sincere attempt after the fake attempt failed. Sound confusing? Yeah, well…

The happenings over the past couple of days are a culmination of numerous lawsuits filed by investors who trusted this man with their life savings, accusations of his working as an adviser

Marcus Schrenker

without the proper licensing and an imminent divorce, partially due to extramarital affairs. He’s been called a pathological liar, a thief and a narcissist. He’s been accused of stealing retirement funds and kept monies due to insurance companies.

Once the gap began closing in behind him and he was served both divorce papers and a judgment that ordered him to repay over $500,000 to one company he defrauded - all within a week’s time, he made the decision to plan an elaborate escape that would appear to be a suicide. It might have been a bold move, except for the fact the execution of this scheme wasn’t perfect. He sent a “woe is me” email to a friend prior to his leaving Indiana and said that he’d embarrassed his family for the last time. The friend was concerned and turned the email over to Indiana police. His second mistake was sending out a distress signal just south of Birmingham, AL. When planes approached his, while still flying, in attempts to rescue him, they discovered a pilot-less plane that had been set to auto-pilot. The open door on the plane was probably a giveaway, I would think. The plane crashed close to the Alabama-Florida state line and it was nothing short of a miracle that the plane, when it crashed, didn’t kill someone on the ground. That was a huge risk he took with absolutely no consideration to the damage a wayward plane could potentially have to people who’d never even heard of him. Then again, his selfishness allowed him to bring pain to people he knows and loves; one can’t expect any considerations for perfect strangers. This was clearly not a last minute whim since he’d already hid a motorcycle in Alabama for the last leg of his escape. He was caught Tuesday night in Chattahoochee. He was found in his tent shortly after he tried to slit his wrists and was taken to a hospital, where he remains.

He now stands to be charged with countless other crimes in more than one state, since he was captured in Alabama and because his plane crashed in Florida, authorities will now have to decide whether to charge him with some kind of negligence or worse. Just a guess, but my money’s on his being a lonely soul right about now. He’s burned his marriage, destroyed his career and betrayed even his closest friends…all in his quest for money.

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness month and is as important an issue as healthcare and the economy. The statistics are disturbing, to say the least.

Domestic violence is the number one reason women visit the emergency room

• Health costs for treating victims of domestic violence are nearly 6 BILLION dollars a year.
• Women account for 95% of domestic violence victims
• More than 5 million women are physically abused each year.
• Nearly 1250 women are murdered annually due to domestic violence.

Violence in one’s home affects others outside the home. 95% of abused women experience problems in their jobs, 74% are harassed while at work, 56% report to work late and more than half of all victims lose entire days due to their desire to hide injuries.

Pregnancy increases the risk of abuse and the long term effects on children who witness violent abuse on a parent is substantial and forever alters their lives.

If you find yourself in a situation that threatens your life, take measures now to protect yourself and your children. The first step might be to have a judge issue a restraining order. This is important because once the order has been violated, your local police are better positioned to arrest the abuser. If you’re married, now is the time to contact a lawyer to provide legal guidance. You will want to take measures to protect your children and make your wishes known should the worst case happens. Filing for divorce should be a priority as well. If you have children, your lawyer will be able to petition the court for an order that will require your spouse to begin making child support payments.

It’s incredibly difficult to pick up the pieces after having endured abuse for any amount of time. But it can be done. In fact, women and men find the strength to walk away on a daily basis.

Your first priority is to put as much space between your abuser and you. Many times victims feel safer relocating to a different state or at least a new city. If that’s not an option, you will want to change the locks and if there’s anyway to include the purchase of a good security system in your budget, it’s strongly encouraged.

It is simply never, ever acceptable to allow someone to abuse you. If you need help, there are many resources available, including the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the Domestic Violence Resource Center.

Once again, another of our illustrious politicians has managed to wrangle up a scandal or two. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

This time, the winning state is Florida and the headline-making name is none other than Democrat Tim Mahoney.

Tim Mahoney has defended his actions of paying a woman he’d had an affair with. He says he did nothing illegal. I guess not. Most mistresses are accustomed to being “kept” and there’s nothing illegal about that. The bigger problem is his marriage and whether or not the Mrs. will allow him to continue breathing. Wouldn’t we just love to see one of these wives belly-up and demand a divorce? I would love to see one of them not stand by their husbands as he declares his unending love to “the woman who stood by me no matter what, who I have betrayed in the cruelest ways”, but instead, release her own statement along the lines of, “The arrogance and narcissistic nature of my husband has forced me to make a choice I never dreamed I’d have to. Because he can’t keep the pony in the

Tim Mahoney

barn, I have chosen to file for divorce.” I know we’ll never live to see a statement like that, but still, their passive and martyred natures are becoming tiresome. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making light of an incredible difficult position to find yourself in. I know how exhausting and hurtful it can be. And it does go back to these politicians becoming accustomed to people following around in their attempts to be helpful and providing every miniscule request they demand. And too, the wives, once they discover the infidelity, most likely ensure life becomes less than pleasant for these political figures - at least their personal lives at home that are never exposed in the media. That is probably the safest way to ensure it doesn’t become a bigger scandal - the wives probably inflict their cold shoulders and temper tantrums at the one place the media has no access to - which, of course, is their home.

The one winner in this scandal is the former aide whose bank account is now $121,000 to the good. Oh, and lest we forget, Tim Mahoney won his bid after his adamant insistences of returning “morals and family values” to politics. This, of course, was the same position that was open due to Mark Foley’s suggestive and what some insist were sexual text messages to young Washington male pages.

His declaration of having done nothing that violated his office or any laws might be true, but a wise man would think more of the long term consequences of the violations against these morals and family values he hung his promises from.

Need proof that the scandalous political cycle exists? This should provide it.

The supreme happiness in life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.

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Would you or would you not? A prenuptial agreement is almost like a declaration of, “We’ll make the best of it while we can, but when it heads south, this little contract protects me.” What happened to, “We’ll make the best of it while we can, but when it heads south, we’ll still make the best of it”? It’s a tough position to be in because it’s usually requested in the midst of planning the wedding - when most are giddy and excited about the new life they are about to embark upon as married folks. In that state of mind, people are full of anticipation of great things sure to come and could never dream of their marriage ending in divorce. Still though, when one is presented with such a request, it has to be addressed and discussed - not a very pleasant chore. Then again, the 49% divorce rate in this country isn’t pleasant either.

When more and more prenups are being challenged in divorce courts, if a couple chooses to enter into a marital contract, my guess it’s done so after a lot of discussion and soul searching. Afterwards, should you find yourself in a divorce, the last thing you want is more stress because it wasn’t properly worded or is lacking in clarity. You don’t want to look back to the day you signed it and realize you had too many unrealistic images of happily ever after to think of such unpleasant possibilities. Keep in mind too - it’s not being disloyal to hire your own attorney to navigate the legal jargon and subtle wordings. You can be sure your fiancée’s own attorney drafted it. At least balance the scales.

• Have very clear statements of who pays the household bills during the marriage
• How pre and post-marital property is to be divided. Remembering the summer cottage is easy enough, but don’t forget the contents in the safety deposit box or the antique chifforobe you bought on your honeymoon that appraised high enough to cover the national debt.
• What about the jointly owned property? Who gets it? Do either of you get it? Have clear understandings of whether it’s to be sold and the division of equity. If one chooses to keep it, define the stipulations in terms of the timeframe needed for one spouse to buy out the one who doesn’t keep the property.
• Provide definitive ways of how the prenup can be revised or terminated in the future.
• Women - now’s the time to stipulate whether or not you will keep your married name or choose to use your maiden name in the case the two of you go your separate ways.
• If you have children, aside from the custody agreement, it wouldn’t hurt to reiterate the discussions you had before the walk down the aisle. Err on the side of caution.
• Consider including all manners of the dissolution of marriage - including the death of one spouse. Although there may be a will, if there are other expectations of the surviving spouse, put in the prenup, especially if there are specific requests for other family members and friends. Again, err on the side of caution
• If you have discussed the repercussions of an affair, document them in detail. Remember though, homicide is illegal in this country. You might want to kill him or her, but if you’ve outlined the prenup just so, you’ll have more pleasure in watching the facial expressions once he or she realizes just how much that little tryst will cost.

And of course, every state is different in its laws regarding marriage and divorce. You will need to consult an attorney in your home state for the specifics. I don’t know the answer to whether one should or shouldn’t. One minute I think it’s just sad that people go into marriage anticipating problems. On the other hand, my mom raised no fool - it’s all about covering the bases…not that I have any bases to cover, mind you.

With so much going on in the world of politics, finances and American legal structures, we’ve heard words such as “recession”, and even phrases like, “Well, back during the days of the Depression…” Hopefully, things won’t get this despondent. Contrary to what some may believe, I don’t think we’re anywhere near a depression. Maybe a series of “blue days” would be a more apt description, for now anyway.

Still, though, I was interested in comparing the days of the Depression and the years prior that some say is the true beginning of what culminated into a near-decade decline. For the sake of uniformity, I’m using a general “pre-1940″ as my comp point with specific years within each reference.

*All figures come from US Census Bureau and BLS/PPI Government site

Even though there are some similarities, when you take a step back, you begin to realize many of these comparisons are indicative of society throughout the decades. Divorce, even though the rates were down, is as evident now as it was in the 1970s. Dropout rates are actually a bit better than they were in the early 1980s. Murder rates weren’t really any higher in the late 20s through the early 30s. Of course, robbery and theft was up for obvious reasons. On the other hand, a depression is defined as:

Deep extended slump in total business activity. Buying and selling drop, forcing a decline in production prices, incomes and employment.

Again, that statement can be applicable to many times even within our lifetimes. So, as bleak as the political and financial fronts seem to be, it’s not as discouraging as some insist, especially the ones who declare the sky is falling.

My guess is burglary, petty theft and misdemeanor charges for things such as a lack of automobile insurance and expired tags will be on the increase. Hopefully, the winds of change will begin to shift sooner rather than later.

So you get one of those little green “here comes bad news” cards in the mail alerting you to the fact you have a gift at the post office that requires your signature. Your heart sinks to your recently pedicured toes and you think it can be one of two things: the hubby took the chicken route in notifying you of his desire for a divorce, or worse, the IRS wishes to correspond with you. Since you could care less if your less than perfect spouse is up to no good with the secretary from the fourth floor, you begin to prepare for a slow dance with the Internal Revenue Service. It’s not long before you realize you will need the services of a tax attorney. Sounds easy enough, but when you have no idea where to start, it’s more than a little overwhelming. The first thing you want to do is gather any relevant information, including the certified mail that triggered this need for legal assistance. If you’re not sure, err on the side of caution and include paperwork that might or might not be useful. A good tax lawyer will, by nature, have to be a patient soul. After all, he or she deals with the IRS on a daily basis, right? Be sure you’ve made your lawyer aware of any deadlines you might have previously agreed to or any other offers the IRS might have made in the past - before you hired counsel. It’s also beneficial to your sanity to organize this information by date. These problems, nerve wracking as they are, are fixable - but only after you’ve gone through the whole song and dance that will appease the government.

Choosing a good tax lawyer sounds easy, but don’t be fooled. Ideally, you want to choose someone you feel comfortable with and who you feel as though understands the nature of your specific problem. Good lawyers recognize that although they deal with their specialties on a daily basis, each client has his or her own nuances and unique situations. Just as it’s important to choose a lawyer you feel most at ease with, you also must extend a level of trust and know that even if you don’t hear from your lawyer on an hourly basis doesn’t mean your case has hit the back burner. Often, just as you are at the mercy of the IRS’s timeframes, your attorney is too. His training has taught him when to panic and any IRS attorney worth his salt will tell you there’s very little reason, if any, that justifies panic mode. You do your part - provide all of the information that will help your lawyer help you and then give him the time to do the very thing you hired him for: negotiate on your behalf to get you out of this quagmire.

If it’s any help, the IRS, over the past decade, has managed to soften its image as well as its approach to past due tax bills. Only under the most extraordinary circumstances will you face mountains that appear to have no resolution. Usually, a few phone calls, a little negotiation between your lawyer and the IRS and a solid repayment plan will break the chains you feel are weighing you down and preventing you from giving the deserved attention to the other legalities in your life: teaching the hubby the do’s and don’ts of a proper affair and the consequences of having been caught.