The huge controversy that’s been brewing for a couple weeks has resulted in one pageant director taking her toys and leaving and another throwing criticisms against Carrie Prejean for her beliefs.  When asked during the Miss Universe pageant her beliefs on same sex marriage, Carrie responded that her faith teaches

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marriage should be reserved for one man and woman.  Taking a step back and considering the question, one can’t help but think it was as risky a question that could’ve been asked of any contestant.  Regardless of her answer, she was bound to upset someone.  Many say her reply cost her the title.  This is especially disturbing since the questions that are usually asked during these pageants are subjective; if officials had only taken a step back, they might could have seen the potential problems with the answers that were sure to be provided.  But since it was asked and answered, on no level should she have been penalized.

This week brought a new set of problems both for Prejean and the pageant.  Photos emerged of Prejean in a semi-nude state and were promptly distributed across the web.  Within a short period of time, news was announced of a potential contract breach on her part due to her participation with a national anti-gay group.  From there, this became a decision for Donald Trump.  It was left to him to decide if she would lose her title or if a second chance was in order.  He decided to allow her to keep her title.

Now, in the wake of Trump’s decision, one of the two California pageant directors, Shanna Moakler, has announced her immediate resignation and in her press release, she says, “I cannot with a clear conscious move forward supporting and promoting the Miss Universe Organization when I only longer believe in it or the contracts I signed…”

Here’s where it gets interesting.  Moakler was one of those most vocal when Prejean’s ties to the anti-gay group leaked.  In fact, she was one who was pushing hardest for Prejean to be stripped of her title.  For someone who appears to be such a stickler for contracts and the importance of honoring them, you’d think the last thing she’d want to do would be to appear in an ad for a group that supports gay marriage.  Yet that’s exactly what she did, thus breaching her own contract.

One should never have to apologize for her beliefs - whether those beliefs are pro gay marriages, pro-life, pro-choice or anything else, especially when those beliefs were revealed in a respectful manner and as a result of a direct question.  This has snowballed into far more than a perception of a wrong answer.  Prejean has spent much of her time since the pageant defending her decision to give a straight answer during the interview phase.   But aren’t we all just happy that the reply didn’t include the words ‘world peace’?

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Has anyone else noticed what appears to be an incredibly high divorce rate in Hollywood? Well, it’s Hollywood. And yes, it’s open for interpretation, especially when it seems these folks go to great lengths to hide aspects of life that all of us are affected by at some point. Teenage pregnancy, bankruptcies, and even the occasional trip over their own feet - which, by the way, I happen to be an expert at. But the divorces….now there’s an interesting topic, not because we enjoy seeing human weakness and grief, but because we seldom DO see it. Those basic human emotions are reminders that we’re alive and kicking, that we have souls that grieve and recognize loss. I’m fully aware that these are very intimate emotions and most of us grieve in private. So why do we hear and see the materialistic aspects of these divorces? Or better still, why do we see the vulnerabilities in everyone involved in the divorce EXCEPT the hubby and his Mrs?

A perfect example is the red hot divorce that’s on the horizon for Alex and Cynthia Rodriguez. There’ve been claims of affairs with Madonna, accusations of the kids being held hostage for a more appropriate divorce settlement and just downright meanness. It seems there is invariably one spouse who feels slighted because the settlement includes 42 million dollars instead of 61 million dollars. How do you spend that kind of money in one lifetime? And what exactly does one thinks happens to the money after death? Are they anticipating a BMW dealership in Heaven…or Hell or whatever one believes happens after…well, you know…after.

I know what’s coming after these next few sentences, but here goes. The spouses who are holding out on signing divorce papers usually are the wives because they feel as though they’ve “sacrificed” a part of their lives for their husband’s career. Did their wedding vows include being tied to a radiator during the course of the marriage? You have to live your life and if you have a husband (or wife) who provides monies for the luxuries of the easy life, just what exactly have you sacrificed? When do all of these extravagancies, month long vacations, diamonds, titles for twelve estates and anything else money buys go from “living well” to “sacrificing”? Even more disgusting is the fact that the kids are always, without fail, pawns in this selfish process.

Just go through some of the more recent divorces - Paul McCartney and Heather Mills (I’m not even going to comment on that one!), Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, Terry and Linda Bollea (Mr. and Mrs. Hulk Hogan) and my all-time favorite: Donald and Ivana Trump. The common denominator is money.

I have an idea. Since there seems to be a belief that one’s worth is based on the settlement, I believe I’ve come up with a solution. This will also provide a lesson for some of these misled people. To prove that one doesn’t need 79 trillion dollars a month in spousal support and can actually build a very nice life on far less, how about a workshop aimed at rebuilding self-esteem after having lived through such a traumatic marriage that was filled with sacrifices? It can be a small workshop with only a…let’s see….a ten thousand dollar fee, we’ll invite a hundred recently divorced, tragedy-ridden, botox stuffed Hollywood-ites. Take the fees and then use that windfall of money to show some of these people that you don’t have to sacrifice and that believe it or not, one can actually make solid financial decisions and investments on such a diminutive amount of money. They’ll emerge as far more confident and independent people and I’ll have a nice paycheck for one afternoon.

I realize my tone and I am making light of it. On a serious note, why aren’t these people listening to their attorneys? If I found myself in a very public divorce where there are millions at stake, if my lawyer says to me:

“There’s too much greed, manipulation, hurt feelings, hatred and spite. You need to slow down, consider your kids and work on trying to get through this with a little dignity, some decorum of maturity, a little patience and tolerance and PLEASE…learn how to bite your tongue!”

I believe I’d listen. At some point, you have to put it in perspective. Lose the focus on how many millions you stand to gain, but instead, focus on the knowledge that you most likely will never have to struggle financially, college is covered for your kids, you can travel, you can volunteer…but another three million dollars added on to a fourteen million dollar settlement just isn’t going to matter ten years from now. And if it does, then you’ll know it wouldn’t have mattered anyway - if you can blow millions that quickly, you’re in far more trouble then than having to face a judge now.