There appears to be a renewed source of tension in many divorce cases that include child custody and other issues parents must work out for their children. As if divorce isn’t stressful enough for everyone involved, in many of these cases, everyone’s trying to “win”. Part of these strategies include punishing everyone, namely the in-laws, by preventing or severely limiting time spent between grandparents and the minor children.

Because human nature is so ego-driven at times, too many choices and decisions are made based on fear. A wife who has left a marriage for reasons known only to her and her husband can sometimes surf right through an amicable settlement in terms of dividing assets, the home, the membership at the country club and hundreds of other materialistic things, including the miniscule details of who gets the flatware. Just when the husband and wife decide they need to patent and bottle the magic that got them through these energy-depleting actions without committing a felony, such as homicide, as well as the recognition of the material things being, well…material, suddenly find themselves as panicked as the folks on the Titanic were. It gets worse from there.

There are a few across the board statements that can be assumed by this time. First, these are the same two people whose hearts skipped a beat after the first kiss years ago and they’re also the same ones who, when they eloped to Vegas, believed with all they were that this is who they would be growing old and wrinkled with. They’ve struggled through lean financial times, grieved together at the death of a parent, survived medical scares and learned to accept the fact she’s fanatical about no dust being on the baseboards and his near-obsessive attitude towards some football or baseball….hockey - anyway, there’s a team he’s obsessed about. The point is, these two people moved forward in the life they’ve built -complete with little ones. You would think some of this would rise to a conscious level that would prevent them from converting into bitter tunnel-visioned people on a mission to devastate the other. But there it is. And “it” includes the feelings and hurt hearts of their children and their respective parents.

It’s no secret that many wars continue between daughters in law and mothers in law long after the judge declares they are no longer bound together as family. And don’t even get me started on the over-protective father who can’t seem to remember his thirty year old daughter is also a thirty year old adult. The fact is, though, these are all traits related to that phenomena called “parenthood”.

All of this builds up and erupts between these adults, with none ever being completely right, and the babies stuck right in the middle. Why are we OK with allowing these little ones to see their father, when complaining about his mother in law, swearing he’ll kick the old bag’s teeth in if she comes near his kids or overhearing Mom insisting Dad’s mom is a greedy , credit card collecting, gossiping and closet drinker and who will only be allowed to see her grandkids when hell freezes over? Is it that easy to forget this is the same woman who, for a week after her first grandbaby was born, was there to drop off dinner at six, kiss that new life and promptly excuse herself because she understood how important time spent alone between mother and newborn is? Or what about the time she stood up for her daughter in law at the weekly bridge game when an unkind insult was overheard? It’s no different for the men, either. The same man who insisted his son in law is a jackass also happens to be the same jackass who got out of bed at 3 a.m. to run across town when someone tried to break into his in-laws’ home.

Unless there are things happening that are deal breakers in the grandparents’ lives, why are the grandparents the ones who pay a price for a marriage they had no responsibility in keeping together nor breaking up? Each state has its on laws, although many are open for interpretation and are vague at best. The laws should protect the little ones, not the adults. Some of these custody battles we’ve seen? There’s no law that can protect them from themselves or each other.

It’s an amazing sight to see when we approach someone, knowing there has been bad blood, and knowing both parties are tense…and then to see it magically fade away with one simple and sincere and kind comment. It makes no difference if it’s a simple, “Hi. You doing OK?” or if it’s a sincere apology for nothing more than allowing things to get out of hand. Even if there’s no desire to become tight family members again, why can’t it be just sincere enough to mend the hurt feelings so that the kids never feel as though they have to choose loyalties?

After all, if a parent spends all this time dictating who’s in and who’s out when it comes to their kids’ lives, the only thing accomplished is a court taking it out of the parent’s hands and turning it around so that it’s anyone BUT them making the decisions.

Anyone who follows social and cultural trends is bound to be aware of the power of electronic networking. Although not new, it’s only been in the past five or so years that we’ve begun really tapping into the power of what these resources provide. Many careers were skyrocketed by networking with the right people via the internet. In fact, I currently have four bosses and have never met any of them. I’m quite sure none have ever met any of the others. It’s advantageous in many ways - they could care less if I’m on the porch swing doing my work or sitting on the kitchen counter waiting for the biscuits to come out of the oven. As long as it’s quality work and up to their standards, they’re good. Works for me, for sure. All of this electronic networking opens doors that were never accessible before. If you’re searching for an adoption attorney, typing in “adoption lawyers casper wy” on any search engine will return every listing within a three hundred mile radius of Casper, or any other distance, depending on your search specifications. Anytime new legislation is being introduced, it’s instantly accessible. The Supreme Court rules on a controversial case? A patient ten minute wait (just long enough for a secretary to get it uploaded) is all it takes to discover who dissented. Want to know the educational career of another lawyer? A few keywords and you instantly know he graduated third in his class.

What might not be well known is how these avenues provide information we’d never considered before. For instance, it’s no secret that lawyers have used jury consultants in their efforts to provide the best defense for their clients. Considerations used in the quest for the perfect juror include lifestyles (divorce, number of children, etc.), career choices and even which jurors were victims of crime….or if they’ve committed a crime. Once word gets out in the legal community of the perfect consultant who some swear is psychic, via blogs, websites and a number of other electronic methods and the consultant begins receiving requests from across the country, you can be sure he appreciates electronic networking and will never underestimate its power.

As a rule, these minor intrusions are acceptable to the jury pool as a whole. It’s the deeper-hid and unexpected discoveries that make us nervous.

How many of us have a less-than-noble photo or two floating around? Think there are none? Hmm. Well, allow me to remind you that your past may not be as sterling as you’d like to think it is. Remember that trip to a bike rally back in 1994? A few cold beers and next thing you know, you realize how inhibited you’ve always been. Well, inhibited no more, you decide. You’re young, right? You only live once, right? After all, this is your first motorcycle rally and you need to memorialize it in a way that will always serve as proof that you’re an inhibited human being no more. The next time you hear, “Show me what you got!”, you figure you’ll do just that: you’ll show ‘em what you got. Ah…but there are as many cameras as there are Harleys and beer bottles. You think nothing of it afterwards. That is, until 2008 when you stumble across a blog someone’s written. Reality begins to set in. You now know that bikini you wore that weekend will never be your friend again. Want proof that your inhibitions were low? Just pull out your own collection of pictures from that weekend. My, my. These pictures include one of you and a man who parked his bike next to your group’s bikes. He was hilarious and you learned all about his divorce - well, his sixth divorce to be more specific. For some reason, he seemed to forgotten his own name, so you and your friends quickly anoint him as “Cletis Earl”. So here’s this long-forgotten picture of good ‘ol Cletis Earl who’s so drunk he has to lean on you to keep from falling down. Not that you didn’t doubt your own equilibrium more than a few times during that weekend, but as G-rated as your pictures are, you are well aware of the clicks of plenty more cameras during your declaration of independence and lowered inhibitions.

You know you never want that short vacation to “Wild World” discovered by anyone. And God forbid your teenager finding your hidden picture albums and yelling, “Oh my God!! You have a tattoo there?!”

But what if a talented and resourceful jury consultant, in his efforts to provide the perfect balance for the perfect jury stumbles across a website someone put up so his friends around the world could see images from all of his trips to bike shows? You might not even be made aware of this little jewel. For what it’s worth, this discovery may actually be to your advantage. Still, the two things you never want to see the light of day again include those pictures and that bikini.

This is only the tip of the iceberg. Presidential candidates are tapping into the benefits of instant networking. Each candidate recognizes the potential payoffs and the power of getting younger Americans to the polls. By using text messaging, MySpace and calls to cell phones, they’re reminding newly-registered voters to get out and vote.

Whether you’re a doctor, a lawyer or a skydiver, you can be sure there are entire electronic communities targeted at your specific career, hobby and even political interests.

Keep in mind though: more than a few salaries have accidently been discovered and if you find a jury summons in your mailbox, there just might be a consultant plundering around your past to determine if you’re suitable for an upcoming trial.

I received a call earlier today from a former co-worker who also happens to be one of my closest friends. We don’t see one another often anymore because of the physical distance between us. Today’s call was a little different than the others I’ve ever gotten. For the phone to ring before 7 p.m. and it be her number on the i.d. sends up red flags. After all, an employee of Howard Industries, Inc. located in Laurel, MS very rarely sees eight or even ten hour work days. Twelve hour days are generally the rule of thumb. I know this because I was one of those employees. Getting back to the phone call, I answer it expecting to hear one of two things: she’s either thrown a computer at someone or she’s getting married. Either announcement would’ve been exciting, but what I got instead had me thinking, “Yep…it was just a matter of time” followed by, “No way! You’re kidding, right? You quit your job and this is your way of softening the blow, right?”

Turns out Department of Homeland Security and Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officers, a total of about 700 agents, have raided Howard Industries. As of 5 p.m. CT, HI has yet to release a statement, but insists one is forthcoming. That’s OK, though, because FOX News and CNN both have satellite trucks parked and are preparing live feeds. This raid is due to recent contract negotiations and a new contract that while passed, was done so reluctantly.

This morning, while folks were beginning their typical Mondays and heading off to work, they were met with roadblocks and agents, complete with rifles blocking the entrances into the transformer plant. The raid had begun prior to 8 a.m., which is the time office personnel typically report to work but after the plant personnel have started their workdays. A list was quickly provided to the agencies so that certain management personnel could enter the building to contact other employees, vendors and suppliers. The men and women were separated and more than a few immigrants were found hiding in the enormous power transformer shells in the plant. One ICE agent was overheard saying, “Here’s the smoking gun.” No areas were off-limits, including my friend’s office and my one-time office.Laurel, MS has a couple chicken processing plants that seem to have been stricken with a sudden, widespread sickness among their plant employees and as such, have allowed their employees to leave so that they may tend to their sore throats or upset stomachs….whatever the case may be. Interstate 59 is quite active, from what I’ve been told.

Meanwhile, back at HI, the parking lots still hold the employee vehicles pending searches. It’s not quite understood what they’re searching for at this point, since any illegal immigrants that would’ve found safety inside a vehicle has surely abandoned that idea with the 90 degree temperatures that are common in south MS this time of year. The conference rooms in the admin buildings were typically used as a common holding room for some employees, specifically the ones on the list provided earlier this morning.

A memorandum that is addressed to all HI employees reiterates the company policy of verifying all work statuses for each employee. Look as though the ball was dropped years ago and was never picked back up.

Looking into the crystal ball for an idea of what the immediate future holds, an announcement was made by the Howard family stating that all employees were to report for their scheduled shifts tomorrow. I’m assuming that includes only the employees who have verified work statuses.

For anyone who isn’t familiar with Howard Industries, this is a typical American success story. Billy Howard founded the company in the 1960s with startup funds from his closest friends, who happen to remain stockholders to this day. The Laurel plant builds power transformers and is the largest manufacturer in America. Its closest competitor is General Electric. HI manufactures transformers for such companies as Southern Cal Edison, Southern Company and most other MUNIs and EPAs in the U.S.

It should be noted that Howard Industries is the second largest employer in the state of MS, with Northrop Grumman Shipbuilding being the largest (see my post on Dickie Scruggs).

After successfully building the transformer division, the Howards’ then went on to build a ballast plant located just south of Jackson, MS. That was soon followed by Howard Trucking division, located about six miles from the transformer plant, in Ellisville, MS and most recently, in Sandersville, MS, the computer plant was erected and is becoming as successful as Mr. and Mrs. Howards’ other divisions. The Howards’ adult children have returned to the family business after earning their college degrees and each are respected in their divisions.

If there wasn’t a huge controversy brewing already on a national level regarding illegal immigrants earning their livings in America, this is sure to highlight it in such a way that no good can come.

For local coverage, visit the Hattiesburg American.