NBC’s tag to pull the 100 gazillion Law & Order fans to the new season is “ripped from the headlines”.  Now I know where that comes from - their stories are ripped from the headlines!  Who knew!

I just stumbled on what appeared to be the script from an episode from a couple seasons back.  Turns out, this particular episode appears to be loosely based on a court case regarding six frozen embryos and who ultimately would decide the fate of these “biological matter”.  And since Britain recently revised its laws regarding this particular subject, I thought I’d throw it into the mix just to provide a bit of contrast.

Earlier this month, the Oregon Court of Appeals decided six frozen embryos were to be considered property of the marriage and because of how the property was divided during the divorce proceedings, the ex-wife had the say in what the final disposition would be. 

The embryos had been stored with a state University with specific instructions being outlined as to how they would be stored - which, I’m assuming the outline was to ensure safe storage that would allow for future in-vitro attempts.  Unfortunately, the couple divorced with none of the embryos ever having been implanted.   The ex husband wanted the embryos released for use by other couples, with the ex wife adamantly opposing this option because she didn’t want her child raised by another mother.  And further, she didn’t want her son, who was conceived naturally during the marriage, to be approached years from now with an opening statement such as, “I’m your sister”. 

To be honest, I was a little surprised at her statement of not wanting another woman to raise her child.  It struck me as odd because usually, when someone chooses to destroy stored embryos, they typically disassociate themselves by using more sterile terms such as “biological matter” and other similar references.  It’s rare they choose to use “child”.  At any rate, the ex wife won the case and the embryos were destroyed.

I haven’t found anything on the ex husband and his reasoning for wanting the embryos implanted into another woman.  Both former spouses are physicians.  He is an orthodontist and she is a pediatrician.  But, they can both rest assured now with the knowledge their son will never be approached on the street by an unknown sibling. 

In a time that embryos are being used for stem cell research and with the debates back and forth, my guess is just because this decision went unnoticed by many,  (including me) it’s just a matter of time before one of these court cases make the headlines, thereby skyrocketing it to the front pages of newspapers across the country.

Once again, another of our illustrious politicians has managed to wrangle up a scandal or two. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

This time, the winning state is Florida and the headline-making name is none other than Democrat Tim Mahoney.

Tim Mahoney has defended his actions of paying a woman he’d had an affair with. He says he did nothing illegal. I guess not. Most mistresses are accustomed to being “kept” and there’s nothing illegal about that. The bigger problem is his marriage and whether or not the Mrs. will allow him to continue breathing. Wouldn’t we just love to see one of these wives belly-up and demand a divorce? I would love to see one of them not stand by their husbands as he declares his unending love to “the woman who stood by me no matter what, who I have betrayed in the cruelest ways”, but instead, release her own statement along the lines of, “The arrogance and narcissistic nature of my husband has forced me to make a choice I never dreamed I’d have to. Because he can’t keep the pony in the

Tim Mahoney

barn, I have chosen to file for divorce.” I know we’ll never live to see a statement like that, but still, their passive and martyred natures are becoming tiresome. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making light of an incredible difficult position to find yourself in. I know how exhausting and hurtful it can be. And it does go back to these politicians becoming accustomed to people following around in their attempts to be helpful and providing every miniscule request they demand. And too, the wives, once they discover the infidelity, most likely ensure life becomes less than pleasant for these political figures - at least their personal lives at home that are never exposed in the media. That is probably the safest way to ensure it doesn’t become a bigger scandal - the wives probably inflict their cold shoulders and temper tantrums at the one place the media has no access to - which, of course, is their home.

The one winner in this scandal is the former aide whose bank account is now $121,000 to the good. Oh, and lest we forget, Tim Mahoney won his bid after his adamant insistences of returning “morals and family values” to politics. This, of course, was the same position that was open due to Mark Foley’s suggestive and what some insist were sexual text messages to young Washington male pages.

His declaration of having done nothing that violated his office or any laws might be true, but a wise man would think more of the long term consequences of the violations against these morals and family values he hung his promises from.

Need proof that the scandalous political cycle exists? This should provide it.

The supreme happiness in life is the conviction of being loved for yourself, or, more correctly, being loved in spite of yourself.

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Would you or would you not? A prenuptial agreement is almost like a declaration of, “We’ll make the best of it while we can, but when it heads south, this little contract protects me.” What happened to, “We’ll make the best of it while we can, but when it heads south, we’ll still make the best of it”? It’s a tough position to be in because it’s usually requested in the midst of planning the wedding - when most are giddy and excited about the new life they are about to embark upon as married folks. In that state of mind, people are full of anticipation of great things sure to come and could never dream of their marriage ending in divorce. Still though, when one is presented with such a request, it has to be addressed and discussed - not a very pleasant chore. Then again, the 49% divorce rate in this country isn’t pleasant either.

When more and more prenups are being challenged in divorce courts, if a couple chooses to enter into a marital contract, my guess it’s done so after a lot of discussion and soul searching. Afterwards, should you find yourself in a divorce, the last thing you want is more stress because it wasn’t properly worded or is lacking in clarity. You don’t want to look back to the day you signed it and realize you had too many unrealistic images of happily ever after to think of such unpleasant possibilities. Keep in mind too - it’s not being disloyal to hire your own attorney to navigate the legal jargon and subtle wordings. You can be sure your fiancée’s own attorney drafted it. At least balance the scales.

• Have very clear statements of who pays the household bills during the marriage
• How pre and post-marital property is to be divided. Remembering the summer cottage is easy enough, but don’t forget the contents in the safety deposit box or the antique chifforobe you bought on your honeymoon that appraised high enough to cover the national debt.
• What about the jointly owned property? Who gets it? Do either of you get it? Have clear understandings of whether it’s to be sold and the division of equity. If one chooses to keep it, define the stipulations in terms of the timeframe needed for one spouse to buy out the one who doesn’t keep the property.
• Provide definitive ways of how the prenup can be revised or terminated in the future.
• Women - now’s the time to stipulate whether or not you will keep your married name or choose to use your maiden name in the case the two of you go your separate ways.
• If you have children, aside from the custody agreement, it wouldn’t hurt to reiterate the discussions you had before the walk down the aisle. Err on the side of caution.
• Consider including all manners of the dissolution of marriage - including the death of one spouse. Although there may be a will, if there are other expectations of the surviving spouse, put in the prenup, especially if there are specific requests for other family members and friends. Again, err on the side of caution
• If you have discussed the repercussions of an affair, document them in detail. Remember though, homicide is illegal in this country. You might want to kill him or her, but if you’ve outlined the prenup just so, you’ll have more pleasure in watching the facial expressions once he or she realizes just how much that little tryst will cost.

And of course, every state is different in its laws regarding marriage and divorce. You will need to consult an attorney in your home state for the specifics. I don’t know the answer to whether one should or shouldn’t. One minute I think it’s just sad that people go into marriage anticipating problems. On the other hand, my mom raised no fool - it’s all about covering the bases…not that I have any bases to cover, mind you.